Not Me! Monday

Time for another episode of Not Me therapy. If you need therapy too go here for the rules. And then go read more funny Not Me's here.

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If I shopped at Walmart, which I don't, I would never overload my basket with so much junk that I had to perch a 28 pound container of cat sand on the bar below the handle bar. (you know, the one where your kid usually stands on and hangs onto the handle...yeah, that bar!) I AM smarter then this. I did not go all through the store like this and get checked out before someone jostled me causing the cat sand to NOT fall on my big toe. It didn't hurt...Nope!

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I did not make a double batch of chocolate chip cookies. Then, I did not proceed to make a double batch of the chocolate/peanut butter/oatmeal No Bake cookies just because I wanted to eat them. I most certainly did not eat any of them. I'm not a piglet!

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My mother would never have dropped a whole platter of my cookies on the floor. If she did, she never would have picked them back up and put them back on the platter. She did not continue to eat them anyway. I would have told my brother about the tainted cookies before he ate a bunch of them. I would have!!! tehe...

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I did not take any of the cookies (before they were dropped) to a game night. They were not a hit...at all. My friends daughter did not eat about 10 cookies before I asked her if she liked coconut. After her reply of NO, I of course would kindly tell her about the small amount of coconut in the cookies she was consuming. Or not! She did not notice the coconut a little later and yell out "eeewww...there's coconut in these cookies" after clearly loving them a few minutes earlier.

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My loving husband would never kick me out of the house just so he could wrap my Christmas presents. Not the new used SUV though...we don't have enough wrapping paper for that...and I have been driving it for 2 weeks now.

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I did not respond by taking the puppers to the beach during my time out from the house. Kassie did not know at all where we were headed even though she watched me pack the usual beach bag. She was not excited at all. I practically had to drag her to the car. When we arrived, she did not run herself ragged. If she spoke human she would not have been screaming woohoo or whoopee or yeeeaaahhhh or cowabunga dude. She did not come home and drop like a leaf on her bed not to be seen or heard from the rest of the day.

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I did not watch my mom sharpen my brothers knives for him and realize that I have been procrastinating getting mine sharpened. I did not pack them up and take the whole lot of them to the mall for a good professional sharpening. While waiting I did not indulge in a pedicure or a Cinnabon or a new pair of pants. I most certainly did not go look at the puppies in the puppy store. I would never walk out of the store with a pout because I was not allowed to hold a puppy. There was no one in the store people! What harm could it do to love on a puppy? I am not still pouting a few days later! I WANT A SHIH TZU!!!!!!!! wahhhhh....

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I did not receive yummy cookies in the mail this week from my mother-in-law (the high light of every Christmas). We have not been pigging out on them...because we did not get them, of course ;) and I did not go out and buy the ingredients to remake the cookies my mom dropped on the floor. Because, surely we do not need more cookies around here. I will not be making another double batch of the chocolate/peanut butter/oatmeal No Bake cookies tomorrow.

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It is not almost Christmas...I am not so excited!

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God is indeed good! We are blessed beyond measure.