Not Me Monday

I did not decide to do this post at 10:20 PM on Monday night. Beggars can't be choosers...I'm here aren't I? Better late then never. Check out Mckmama's blog to read other Not Me stories.

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There is no way I would wait until 5 days before my bestest childhood friends wedding to try on my bridesmaids dress to reassure the fit since we first fitted late last year.

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I am not extremely relieved it fits...except for the ta-ta's. My mom is not sewing furiously to take in the boob area of the dress. I am not confused why dress makers think all pleasantly plump gals like myself have humongo boobs.

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I did not have to rush to the mall today to get an appropriate brassiere to go under the strapless dress. I am so not thankful for the wonderful invention of Spanx. Nor am I so happy to see that spanx has a slit in the crotch eliminating the need to fully disrobe to go #1. Gross, I know. But still...we've all been there and it is true.

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My brat of a puppers did not eat a huge bowl of food that was left out by my landlord (for her dogs) thereby getting really sick. I did not wonder at first why she would not eat her dinner as she is a piggy through and through. I would like to say she has learned her lesson but we all know...she hasn't. She would do it again right now if she could.

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We did not take her to the beach to run off the extra calories the next day. She did not really run much (probably still not feeling well) but she loved just basking in the sun.

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I am not happy this wedding is gonna be this weekend so I can stop fretting about my tan lines. I have an olive complexion and have trouble not tanning.

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We did not run out this weekend to buy Rose's loft bed just because the kids bedroom tour that Kelly is hosting is this Friday and I wanted to participate. I do not have everything I need to decorate the bed right now. Nope! We are procrastinators in this house!!!

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Yeah, so...Rose does not come till the end of July! And you can take that to the bank!

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So, I will only have my tv for another week or two...*leaves to go watch tv*...